My father often writes on civility. He co-authored a book title "Christian Civility". Runs a website by the same name, and is the originator and proponent of Say Something Nice Day. I fully support him. I do believe we need to treat each other with civility. But when it comes to the way we live our lives, many of us need to lose our tempers. Not in violence, but in passion.
I was talking to a dear friend today, well actually shared an email with her, and it hit a nerve. This person who I love and admire opened up a digitally transmitted can of whup-ass on me. You know what? I loved it. She showed such emotion, dedication, and strength in her reply to me that I couldn't help but smile. When she gets mad, much like many of us, she lets her barriers down and shows what she really feels. It is hard sometimes. Honesty can take its toll, but it is really worth it. Sure when she goes off on me it may hurt a bit. I didn't mean to piss her off. But she is a good friend; a great person and I can take it. I am no weak little flower either. And it is more than worth it to find out what she really feels. To get the raw emotion. And no, I don't mean to tick her off on purpose. Well not usually.
All of this reminds me of a quote I have written about before by Howard Thurman, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Come on people – feel!! What makes you feel alive? What do your really want? I don't give a crap about what makes money, what is the wise career choice, what is the proper investment to make for the future security of your family. What I really care about is what you feel.
This is especially true of authors and other artists, but it is really true of everyone. Go to the DMV. No, don't do that, just think back to the last time you were there. Remember the look in the eyes of the person at the counter? Did they want to be there? What were they feeling? If you are lucky they weren't feeling anything at all. The few times they do show their feelings it isn't a pleasant site. But deep down, I love it.
I value feeling. It is the truth. Don't tamp it down. Down sugar coat it. And for God's sake please don't tell me what you think I want to here. I want you to vomit up what you feel violently all over me. Call me sick, but that will make me happier than you well ever know.
So please, the next time you see me or we talk, lose you temper. I have been told that it is very easy for people to lose their temper around me – you have no excuse not to.