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These are a Few of My Favorite Things – Exercise #11

July 4, 2013 by Michael Carnell

In honor of all my British friends, today’s exercise calls for me to list “Fifteen of Your Favourite Things”. Well one of my favorite things is alternating between British and American spellings so that it freaks out the spell-check and makes me seem mentally unstable. Yes, I am going to blame the instability on the spelling. Might as well. And since I am going to do that, it only makes sense to start my list of favorite things with …

1) British cars. I have been a devotee of British cars since I was a teenager. My first car was an MG. There has barely been a year since then when I didn’t own at least one British car, and often many more. The cars do not have to be convertibles, but they are usually old. And in various states of disrepair. I love the way they drive, the way the smell, and the way they feel. I do believe Castrol runs in my blood.

2) British television. Since we are already in the Enchanted Isle for the cars, we might as well stay for the telly. I don’t know why other than the shows are better! I started out early watching Monty Python and Doctor Who (Tom Baker was my Doctor), and I am still watching them. Oh, and Top Gear. And lets not forget Sherlock.

3) Trains and Trolleys. Again, one of those loves I have had since I was a kid. Things on rails. Big and small. Real and model. If you are really board you can check some out at Michael’s Trains.

4) Soccer. I never have been a fan of baseball, basketball, hockey, American football, or any other sport. I like soccer. And by the way, Man U rules!

5) Apple products. “Finally!” you are saying. “Something closer to home,” you are saying. And you would be right. I prefer the Mac operating system. Just cleaner and more stable. I make my living, or a good portion of it, supporting Windows. That tells you something. It needs a lot of support.

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My Worst Habits – Exercise #9

July 2, 2013 by Michael Carnell

Seriously? My worst habits? That is what this exercise wants me to discuss next? But I don’t have any bad habits – I am perfect! And modest too. But you know, asking someone to list their worst habits is like those job interview questions where they ask you what the worst thing about your job performance would be … “oh, the worst thing is that I want everything to be right. I just care too much!” Sure, right. That means you are a pain in the butt.

But, enough of them, back to me. Luckily this says my worst “habits” not “traits” so I don’t have to go into my insecurities or anything. Probably my worst habit is procrastination. I am one of those people who claims that “I do my best work under pressure.” Well that is because most of my work is done under pressure because I wait till the last minute to do it. I have done that since I was a kid in school researching and writing papers. Honestly I waited until the last minute before even trying to read whatever book we were writing on. The bad thing about that is that I am a very slow reader. I have always read like the English major I am. I labor over each word and sentence; analyzing the construction of the smallest details in both the mechanics and the meaning. Let me tell you, when you are reading Dickens that can take a very long time!

My Man Purse – Exercise Number 8

July 1, 2013 by Michael Carnell

So we can tell this series of exercises was composed by a woman because question number 8 is “What’s in your handbag?” The list does say “handbag” not “purse”, but the first definition that pops up when you Google handbag is “a woman’s purse.” Hoping to come up with something different I then went searching a few other definitions. They all in one way or another indicated that the item in question would belong to a woman. Well sorry, I am not a woman and I don’t own a purse. I do, however, have a very nice leather man-bag that my wife got me a few years back.

The bag in question is far larger than most women’s purses, but not as heavy and bulky as a briefcase. One of the reasons I like it, and the canvas paratrooper’s bag I used to carry for years before, is that it is soft sided. That means that it can swell and take shape to contain all the various junk I stuff in it. Additionally, and I have tested this on a few occasions, it is soft enough to use as a pillow in airports or other locations where I might get stuck. It is great for propping my head on to read as I wait out delays in waiting rooms and sterile concourses.

I Do Not Like The Silence – Day #7

June 30, 2013 by Michael Carnell

The assignment for day seven is “your pet hates.” So is this things I personally hate, like pet peeves? Or is this things that my cats and dogs dislike? For the sake of argument, and because no one really cares what my pets don’t like, I am going to go with the former. So today I will discuss a few of the things that I hate – or at least drive me nuts. As Mrs Cootchie Mama of cilantro fame knows, I should not say “hate”. So let’s just say these things really tick me off. (And boy, I am pretty good at getting ticked off.)

First is people who just don’t pay attention. You have hopefully seen, not been, the person in the grocery store checkout line who doesn’t realize they are ever going to have to pay. They stand in line wait their turn. When they finally make it up to the check out clerk they chat, and look around, and maybe talk on their cellphone. Then everything is rung up, bagged, and totaled. Now the clerk tells them the total. Wait! What? I have to pay? Astounding!! Let me know start digging through my travel kit sized purse for some form of payment. What the heck?! All that time they were in line they could have had their wallet in hand, they card out, or their check filled out all except for the total. Now we all get to wait in stunned silence while they catch up with life. Bet they are the same folks who sit at the traffic light when it changes from red to green and just stare off into space – until finally the driver in the car behind them gets fed up enough to honk. Then they will look back, highly offended, wasting more time, and finally pull off as the light turns from green to yellow to red thereby insuring that only they, and maybe one other car, makes it through the light.

And yes folks I take medication for this stuff.

Come to Your Senses – Day #6

June 29, 2013 by Michael Carnell

I have come to my sense. Not, not really. That will never happen. But I have come into an awareness of my senses for this, the sixth part in my thirty-one day writing exercise. Today’s exercise is “Your five senses right now.”

Sight – What do you think I see?! I see the WordPress writing interface on my computer. To be more precise, I see WordPress inside the Chrome browser on my 13-inch MacBook with the reflection of the sun getting stronger on the screen because the window to the east is behind me. And I don’t have my glasses on so the screen of the computer is about all I see. The rest of the room is a blur.

Sound – Our house’s central air-conditioning unit has gone out. Died. Toes-in-the-air croaked. So until we decide what to do, and how to pay for it, we have put in some window units. Well it just so happens that my favorite reading, writing, and napping chair is directly in front of the window unit in our bedroom. So all I hear is the sound of the ac unit fan. Constantly. And occasionally its compressor cycling on and off. I frequently turn it off because I prefer warm and quiet to cold and noisy. But other members of the family complain. So right now – I hear air-conditioning.

Taste – Nothing to thrilling here, just peanut butter. My stomach was growling after having caffeine but not food this morning, so I had half of a peanut butter sandwich. What I wil tell you though is that my taste buts were in heaven last night. Had our anniversary dinner at Husk, and the food was fantastic. As Phil would say on Duck Dynasty, I was “Happy, happy, happy!”

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